Frequently Asked Questions
Q: What are your hours?
A:
Our office hours are Monday through Thursday - 9am to 6pm, Friday - 9am to 5pm, Saturday - 10am to 2pm (some holidays excluded)
Office hours are not to be confused with delivery hours.
Q: What are your delivery times?
A: Except where noted, entertainers can be scheduled
from 9am to 11pm - 7 days a week (some holidays excluded). Additional fees for delivery outside of these times.
Q: What's an arrival
window?
A: An arrival window is not the length of the show, it is the time period between which our
performers will arrive within.
Q:
Do you have references?
A: Check out our Testimonial Page.
Q: Do you have
your policies in writting?
A: Yes, on our Policies Page.
Q:
Where can you do a singing telegram?
A: Just about anywhere! We go to homes, offices, schools,
and restaurants. It's a good idea to call and make sure it's okay with the boss, the principal, or the management.
We use no foul language, but it can get a little noisy with all the laughter and applause. It is also a good idea to
have a contact person at the location who knows we are coming but can keep it a surprise for the recipient.
Q: What songs do you sing?
A:
Eastern Onion has written original comedic songs that are specific to the occasion. The performer will sing the song
appropriate to the event.
Q:
Do you do custom written shows or songs?
A: Yes. We can perform a roast or custom character
or song. Pricing is based upon request.
Q: Do you provide other entertainment?
A: Many of our performers provide other services
such as D.J., Strolling Magician, Cabarets and Barbershop Quartets.
Q: How much notice is needed?
A:
As much as you can give us! We can sometimes provide same-day service,
but advanced reservations are appreciated.
For custom requests, we'll need at least two week¹s notice.
Q: How do I make payment?
A: You may
use your credit card or mail in payment prior to your show.
Q: Where do I send payment?
A: Mail to: 14837 Detroit
Ave., #306, Lakewood, OH 44107. Be sure to
include your order number on your check.
Q: Should I call to confirm my reservation?
A: Once your order is entered into the computer you are all set. Placing an order takes just a few
minutes. If you have any questions or need to add something, you may reference your reservation by order number or delivery
date and name.
Q:
Will the performers be lewd or crude in any way?
A: Eastern Onion has been doing singing telegrams
since the 70s. The characters have been evolving as the times have changed. The shows are designed to make someone
the center of attention and also entertain the crowd. They are performed by actors who know how to think on their
feet and improvise. We are not trying to shock or embarrass anyone. We use no bad language or lewd costuming.
Of course, anytime someone is made the center of attention it can be a little embarrassing just watch out for paybacks!
Q: What guarantee do I have that the performer
will show up?
A: We use professional actors, clowns, singers, musicians and the like. We screen
our talent carefully to be sure they will show up and do a wonderful job. There may be some situations that are
beyond our control, but historically, these have been rare. If Eastern Onion or the performer is aware of any
problem, we will contact you immediately. And, even if our performer should show up one minute outside their arrival
window, you can turn them away at a full refund. And remember, we are in the appointment business, not the
disappointment business. A unique service like ours would not have survived for over 20 years unless we were doing
it right.
